So Im convinced the eMTB is a good thing for me. Every comment I’ve got both private and on social media has been positive. Very positive.
I just typed a 600 word post on how and why I should not do this. Then I deleted it. This decision has consumed me for the last 2 weeks. Its not the bike. The bike is amazing from what Im told. It’s me. Im having a hard time with this personally.
I just typed another 400 words and deleted it again.
Yesterday I pulled the trigger. I ordered the bike and its due early next week. Maybe sooner.
Its been such a mental thing with this. I’ve really struggling with it. These bikes are great for all the obvious reasons. Give someone who once could not now can. But what Im struggling with is me. Maybe Im not quite that bad off? Sure, I struggle at times. But is that all just part of the experience? Just because there are a few hills I can’t climb anymore get a bike that climbs them for me? I dont know. That goes against what I think MTBing is. I read somewhere that these things are good for the elderly or disabled. Is that what I am? I mean, Im old but still can ride a bike better than the average guy.
The thing is at what point does one pull the plug on trying. Its like retirement. You live your life working a ton, then all of a sudden your standing out in your yard yelling at kids to get off your grass. Im not sure Im not done working yet. Hell, I raced the Fat Bike Birkie last March and beat a bunch of people. Should all those people get a eMTB too?
If you really sit and think about it you could realize Im not over thinking this. It’s a big personal decision. And then decide not to do it. At least not yet.
Then….. I think, dude ( I call myself dude), its still a bike. You still pedal it. You still will get a heart rate going. You will still sweat. It’s not a motorcycle. It a bike. Same or close to same geometry as my EX. Same amount of travel. How much more could I ride? How much longer. A two hour ride up in Hayward was getting near my limit. 3 hour max. Now I can ride all afternoon. Deep down I know this will be a good thing. And I just need to get past all the issues in my head. And besides, I have plans to build a kick ass ( Shimano Di2 again this year) fat bike in two months so Im right back to a normal bike when the snow flies so its not this decision will ban be from a pedal bike the rest of my life. Its crazy how one minute Im excited to get it and the next minute I dont want it.
So I should stop typing shit and just get the bike and ride it. And all my insecurities might just go away. So this is the last post on this. At least the last post pre eMTB. Im sure I will have a lot to say after.